Suzi (k00kaburra) wrote,
Suzi
k00kaburra

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Tidal waves don't beg forgiveness - crash! - and on their way.

A few nights ago I had a crazy dream. It's gotten pretty vague - I'm horrid at remember dreams unless I write them down pronto - but it went something like this. (This is your cue to tune out if dreams bore you.) Jeannie and I (yes, Jeannie, you were there) were at some bizarre spa thing, looking at bottles of glop and deciding what to use for facials, body masks, etc. I remember specifically looking at one labeled "Lemon Cotton Candy" and thinking, "Hmmm. Maybe." which is crazy because that sounds ilke one nasty combination. So we get worked on by the spa people for a while - seaweed wraps, mud bath, facials, and all those other things I've never actually done - and leave, feeling all perky 'n' pretty. Outside the spa for whatever awful reason is Mike, who asks me on a date, there on the spot, to see a movie. I'm pissy for some reason (relaxing spa? Naaah...) and say something like, "I'm terribly sorry, but that sounds a bit dull, and I've got this boyfriend thing waiting at home so today really isn't good for me. Maybe some other time. I'll call you." Then as Jeannie and I walk off and he's muttering to himself "Don't lose your cool; just turn and walk away," and I can't see his face because my back's to him but I bet it was interesting.
Then Seanie appears out of nowhere and suggests we go for sushi, so the three of us go to a sushi bar, holding hands as we walk like some demented Wizard of Oz wanna-bes. At the sushi bar, Jeannie tries to liberate the fish by dumping sashimi into the water the sushi boats are circling in, and singing "Swim back to the ocean! You can do it, Nemo!" and Seanie is checking out lots of older women and all I can think about is how fantastic the waiter's socks are.
(END DREAM.)

Anyway, that tidal waves thing? Sometimes I want to be like that. Just crash! make my impact, than disappear again and not care that someone is angry and hurt because I am myself. There's a lot of people in my life I'd like to discard of, just sort of receed from like the tide so that I can crash upon another shore. But I can't stand the thought of someone harboring a grudge against me, so instead I just sit and tolerate those I'd rather not. Yuck.
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