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04 May 2004 @ 04:37 pm
Prevention of Anorexia  
I wish I could just unhinge my throat and pour liquid food down it three times a day. Quick, easy, painless.

I am currently wrestling with a bowl of clam chowder. I am not hungry, and as this is from a can it is not fabulous clam chowder. I do not want to eat it. I want to go upstairs and go to sleep.

However, I have not had substantial food today. Breakfast was a yogurt and three vitamin supplement pills. (Half of a full dosage; the bottle says to take six. I figure I'm half the size of a normal American so I take half a dose.) Lunch has so far been a banana. If I don't finish this soup, I'll probably have to admit I have some sort of eating disorder. So down it goes.

But it is a struggle, every bite. I do not feel hungry, but I know from the empty feeling in my stomach that I am. This mediocrity sitting in front of me is not the least bit satisfying, but it is filling that gap, and it is filling it in a way that is better than ice cream or the other junk I don't mind devouring.

Only 1/3 of a bowl to go. At least I can see the amount going down; if I had not made a dent in this by now I would cry.
Current Mood: nauseatednauseated
~ * flurr sprite * ~nkicroft on May 4th, 2004 05:47 pm (UTC)
eat, eat, EAT!
so_crashed_in on May 4th, 2004 07:26 pm (UTC)
there are some days where i barely eat a thing, and then other days when it seems i can't stop shoving food in my mouth. i hate the feeling of after you eat though, and you feel bloated and gross. but if you feel that you are not eating enough...then maybe you should eat more?
Relianeherenia on May 4th, 2004 10:59 pm (UTC)
Be proud of yourself that you are working to stay healthy even though you're not hungry. Hang in there! I'm sure you can make it, one quarter-pounder-with-cheese at a time.

I'll be thinking of you.
Leishu Lininu_ranma on May 5th, 2004 07:43 pm (UTC)
Poor girl ;_;