I've made up my mind about college. I'll go to West Valley for two years, and then transfer to UCSD. That way, I can use the money that would've gone to paying for university to travel during my student summers.
I don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life, but I imagine I'll know that when I get there. This isn't the ideal plan, it isn't what I want to do, but it's realistic. With the GPA I have, there's no way I can get into UCSD. So I'd have to transfer anyway.
But it doesn't make the bitter pill any easier to swallow. The knowledge that I could go to that school if only I had applied myself, and hadn't got used to my totally horrible studying habits - that knowledge hurts, worse than any physical wound.
But it's okay. There are worse things.
I could be in the morgue, or, even worse, so obsessed with death that I forget to live.
There are worse things, worse people to be.
I'll get over it.