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23 April 2003 @ 08:16 pm
You won't like what I did today.  
Today I am a college drop-out.
Well, almost - I still have my drawing class. But that's all...
I found out I was kicked out of math last night when I was checking my fees for school. I emailed the instructer, who said I was dropped because I missed the first quiz. Aaaaa! Oh well, I thought. Too late now. I don't care. It's bad, but it could be worse.
This morning after work I went home and practiced my number kanji over and over again. It was easy; I memorized them all within half an hour. Then I picked up my textbook and glanced at the vocabulary. I don't know any of it. Last time I went to class the teacher said "You should know thirty or so verbs by now." I know...uhm...maybe ten? I don't know any of the roots, just the masu form, because that's how my last teacher taught the words. I practiced the vocabulary for a while, but I don't know how to structure sentences. Around twelve I stopped to take a shower, thinking "I better get moving so I make it to class; Sailor will be mad/disappointed if I don't go again." After I got out of the shower, tho', and was combing my hair I thought, "Is that the only reason I'm bothering to go to the class? That's a pretty crappy reason to go. I don't even much care about the language itself; I'm just going to keep my boyfriend from bitching. Hmmmm..."
So I chewed that over while I found my jeans. I'm not doing well in the class. I'm very far behind, because I don't know my verbs or my grammar. My pronounciation is perfect and my reading top-notch, but I don't know what I'm saying or reading. Because I got a D last quarter, I'm going to have to take Japanese 1 over again.
Found my jeans, grabbed my jacket. I'm not likely to get higher than a C in this class, and I doubt I'll even get that. When I do go to class, I just feel dumb because I can't do the verbal exercises well enough. I can mostly comprehend what I hear, but I can't fathom how to respond.
Shoes. I haven't got the money for my textbooks. I spent it all on other things, like clothes and phone bills and distro stuff. This isn't necessarily wise choices for my money, but that doesn't change the fact that the money isn't there now.
Phone's dead, plug it into the charger. I hate school. I dread Japanese. I really ought to drop it so that I can just start over next quarter with Japanese 1.
Glance at the clock. Twelve fifty-seven. If I drop Japanese, I'll have Monday, Wednesday, and Friday off. I can look for a sewing class; West Valley's summer courses start in June so I wouldn't be too long without school. I can't take fashion this summer, but I can take another class so that I'm a returning student in the fall, which will make registering for the highly-impacted fashion classes that much easier. This summer I can get practice with the double-school thing, too - unless I really leave DeAnza...I've fucked this first year up right proper.
One-oh-three. If I'm going to go, I need to go now.
One-oh-four. Log on to DeAnza's website. It's busy or down; I can't get into my account. I'll try again tomorrow.
Bai bai Japanese.
 
 
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Current Music: "drain by x-japan