Suzi (k00kaburra) wrote,

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Lori's Wedding

Yesterday was Lori's wedding. Wow. Lori is a girl who used to work at Bath & Body Works. She and I are not friends. We are aware of each other as ex-co-workers, and neither of us loathes the other...but we're not friends. I had no business being at her wedding.

But there I was, sitting next to Taitai, because I had stupidly told Jeannie I'd be her date. Jeannie was in the wedding party so it would simply be too silly to go by herself. So even though we don't hang out anymore because she's just so busy, I was at a backwood redneck's take on elegant, traditional wedding.
Oops, did I say that outloud?
The ceremony itself dragged. There were technical problems with the music, and then the ceremony itself was cheesy to the extreme. Big puffy Southern-Belle wedding dress, polyester tuxedoes, exchange of traditional vows, unity candles, shall I compare thee?, and so on. I wish I could give better coverage, but about halfway through the ceremony my body had an attack of the cramps. So I just zoned through most of it, daydreaming about curling up in my bed.
After the ceremony ended, Taitai and I had to wait around until the wedding party finished taking photos. Finally Kitty said we could stop standing around, so we drove over to the restaurant where the reception was, and commenced waiting there. As it turns out, the guests couldn't enter the reception area until the bride and groom saw the room, so we were all sitting on our asses or standing around for quite a while.

FINALLY an hour after the ceremony ended we were allowed into the reception area to find our table. It was very...last-minute. I can't think of another way to describe it. Everything felt very tossed together. We ended up sitting with some of the groom's men and the father-of-the-bride, so that it was Kirsten, Mike (her husband), Jeannie, myself, Taitai, Kitty, Mike, Dave, John, and Father-of-the-Bride. (I never got his name.) I learned - or rather, had reinforced in my memory - that I can't do group conversation at all. I try to hear what everyone's saying and spend so much time listening that I don't say a thing. -_-; But I think I must've gone invisible or something, because no one really was talking to me anyway. Kitty and Taitai were talking about their impending marriage w/ one of the twins (the groom's men included three brothers, two of which were twins) and I couldn't hear what the others were saying. For a bit they were talking about picky eaters.

The waitress we had (looked a bit like Micheal Jackson) handed out salad and I ate some of that because I was starving. (I hate salad, so it really was a testament of my hunger.) Also I didn't feel so awkwardly silent if I was shoving lettuce in my mouth. When the meals came out the chicken was smothered in tomato sauce and cheese. It was bizarre. There were some raviolis hiding in the tomato sauce so I choked them down (they were kinda gross) and decided it was time to leave, because I was feeling worse and my fantasies of bed had turned to fantasies of puking in the lap of someone's polyester tuxedo. Jeannie tried to talk to me once or twice, but she was also enjoying an apple-tini and couldn't hold any sort of conversation.

So I called Kero and begged her to come get me, and she agreed, so I told everyone I was leaving early and I'd be waiting outside. Jeannie went through this silly "Oh now I can't have fun!" routine that was just ridiculous. Why even pretend? No one offered to come wait with me, but that's OK. It was cold outside and it's far more interesting to dance, anyway.
While I was waiting outside one of the twins, Mike, came out and I actually talked to him for a bit. He was nice; he actually asked me to come back in and dance. But I didn't want to go in where I couldn't hear my phone ring (Kero was lost and we were trying to figure out how to get her from where she was to where the reception was) so I declined. Oh well. He was cute, too. It might've been fun, but I was hurting too much to move around.
Kero finally found the place (poor thing got soooo lost!) and I got to go to her house and crash. Just crash. And crashcrashcrash.

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