Suzi (k00kaburra) wrote,

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Conflicted Conquest, ahoy!

Yesterday Kitty, Laura and I went up to Burlingame to visit Bandaid's new apartment. (I think Kitty used a very similar sentence to open her diary entry. Hee.) It was quite interesting. First off, Burlingame isn't nearly as far away as I though it was. It only took about 45 minutes to gte there; I thought it'd take at least an hour.
The apartment is tiny. I think the whole of it would fit in my bedroom and my bathroom. It made me think of a hotel room - it was laid out just the same way, save there's a tiny kitchen where one usually finds a closet. I've never known anyone that lived in such a small space before. I suppose that says something about how sheltered I am. (Dorm rooms are probably that tiny, aren't they?)

Since Bandaid hadn't unpacked much, there was little to do. We helped unpack what we could, and organized the kitchen. We gathered up all the things that could be recycled and put them in a corner, to be taken out later. Most of the things still out were Cee's, and he would kill us if we tried to put his possessions away, so we just moved them out of the way. As we were moving some boxes we found some of his porn, a video called 'Jinx' starring the incomparable Jenna Jameson. At this point we were so desperate for entertainment that we popped the video in and watched it.
At the beginning of the video was a trailer for a pirate porn called 'Conquest.' For a minute we were super-excited because pirate porn = funny and great. But just as I was getting into the requisite eyphemism jokes ('walking the plank,' 'searching for buried treasure,' 'pirate booty,' 'hoisting the jolly roger,' etc.) the trailer ended and it turned out that there were, in fact, no pirates in the movie. Most disappointing.
The actual porn was quite boring. Something about a whore that runs away from her pimp and shacks up with a tough guy until she decides she wants to be a whore again and returns to her pimp. The amount of spitting and patting-of-genitals-like-they're-puppies was so odd. We wasted so much time waiting for Jenna and the man who rescued her - a long-haired Fabio-esque dude - to have sex, and they never did. I mean, they both fucked a ton of other people, but never each other. Weird.
After the porn (we fast-forwarded through most of it after the novelty of watching porn wore off) we sat around and talked for a while. Since I don't just chill with the girls anymore, it was nice. We headed back to San Jose around four.

As Kitty was driving south on 101 Sailor called, and he and I talked for a while - longest we've talked in a good month or two. Turns out at a party the night before, he'd been making out with a half-Russian, half-Japanese girl and in the process had somehow managed to put his arm through a window and slash it up something awful. I felt really sorry for him, but found the story a bit funny.
While we were talking I asked him what he was wearing and after he'd described his shirt, pants, socks and shoes I asked him what color his underwear was (well, he was describing his clothes and he left that out! I swear, it didn't occur to me that it was a weird question!) and he told me it was none of my damn business. Ouch. For some reason, that comment was like a knife - it really, really hurt. He's never used that phrase on me before. I guess for the first time I was forced to see that no longer being together means we will no longer be as close as we were. He won't tell me everything now. Doors to his thoughts and feelings are slammed shut and locked up, and I'm not even allowed to touch the doorknobs now. I guess I'm really, really naive - I didn't think it'd be like this. It didn't even occur to me. I rarely keep secrets and tell my close friends everythng. It makes me terribly sad and easily eclipsed any jealous I might've felt about his activities the night before. I broke up with him, so it's completely my fault that it's different now, so I guess I can't complain.
Still, I was disappointed and I'm sad.

To round out the day, we went to Laura's church. It was nice to go - it's been a good four years since I last attended a service. I miss church a lot. South Valley isn't really my style of church - I think they're non-denominational and a very 'liberal' church - but I really enjoyed the sermon. Kitty and I decided that we shouild go church-hopping, and explore the different branches of Christianity. I think it will be very cool. I really feel like the spiritual side of my life has fallen apart in the past few years - after all, I had spent the afternoon watching porn. Dirty, man.

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