December 27th, 2000


Love & A Solar Eclipse

"What are the three scariest words you can think of?" Davy asked me one morning over the fence. I was too lazy to get up and let him through the gate, so he hopped over it. It was impressive - he didn't spill his coffee. Not a drop.
"I love you." I replied, watching the partial solar eclipse through a pair of welder's goggles.
"How did I know you'd say that? You have this total fear of commitment, Sam."
"No, I don't." The moon's shadow bit into the sun.
"Come on."
"I don't fear love. I fear what people mean when they say those words. I don't like the way it's like they're really saying 'I own you.'"
"Must you always be so negative?" He poured his coffee cup onto the dirt.
"Why are you ruining my dust?" I demanded, lifting the goggles off my eyes to glare at him.
"Coffee's very good for dirt. Besides, I don't have any goggles left over from a trip to Hawaii. I'm watching the eclipse." And so he was. It was reflecting in the inky liquid. I slipped the goggles back on and stared back at the sky.
"Very nice."
"Anyway, maybe some people want to be owned. You'd be surprised."
"Why would they want to be owned?"
"Maybe it's the only way they think they can be worth something."
"That's silly. Ridiculous."
"To you, maybe. You've always been so sure of who and what you are."
I roll over in the direction of his voice. I can't see him - the lenses are so dark I can only see light as bright as the sun. "And you, Davy?"
"I'm not quite sure. Sometimes..." He paused, as if to say something more, but stopped and grinned instead. I couldn't see it, but I could feel it. I could just sense his pearly-whites flashing at me. "But I'll figure it out, just wait and see, kiddo!"
Just what goes on in that head of yours?