July 11th, 2001


Loverly loverly love

"Have you ever been in love with somebody? How did you know? Do you believe in love at first sight?"

'Have you ever been in love with somebody?' At this point in my life, no. I'm not big on love. It doesn't motivate me. I think it's because I live in some sort of mish-mesh half-reality half-illusion world anyway, and sort of make up things as I go along. But that isn't the point. The point is I'm not in love, never been in love, and have no plans to be in love in the future. I think I'll get older and marry someone so that they can work hard and I can laze around the house all day. Love just isn't high on my list...I take the back. I want to be loved by everybody but I don't particularly care for a lover. Does that make sense?
My anti-lover status most likely stems from the fact that
A/I'm not a lesbian
B/And I don't like boys
C/I'm scared of love and commitment. I think that "I Love You" sounds suspiciously like "I Own You" on a lot of peoples' lips. So I'm scared. I don't want to be owned by nobody.
Knowing all that, do you think I would believe in love at first sight?