February 3rd, 2002


The castle became a violent sea of blood.

In eternal madness we live
Even if it was just a dream
now pain, nothing but PAIN!

I feel like I'm under a gag order or something.
"Remember, Sam, don't tell anyone about this."
"Don't forget, Sam, it's just a secret between you and me."
"It mustn't get around the school."
"I don't want her to know just yet."
"It's a secret, Sam, a special hidden secret that I entrust to you."
"Don't tell."
"Don't hint."
"Don't mention, especially to him."
"P.S. Don't forget to put your socks away."
I was writing a letter to a friend a little while ago (you know, one of notes you write where you vent all your frustrations but you don't ever plan to actually give them) and I was nearly tearing my hair out because of all the things I had to avoid mentioning. This is in a letter he'd never even see. Yeesh. But never mind Sammie just don't say that Sammie; Sammie this Sammie that don't blow up-
Not that I'm stressed at all. I'm cool as a cucumber, baby. Actually, I'm more than cool. I'm freezing. I don't have a real jacket and it's been shivering weather the past few days. Br-r-r-r-r-r-r.
Why are you scared?
What have you seen?
In the castle with the silent roses
I ask again and again
Why are you sad ?
What pain are you feeling ?
Oh, I ask of the rose with its petals of blood
But the rose of blood can't answer me till the end

Why do I listen to all this sad and depressing music when I'm not either emotion at all? I'm just annoyed at everyone and everything in varying degrees. Pfft.
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