May 1st, 2010

piranha - blowing smoke.

Isolation and solitude, yes please!

I don't know if I always always this way, or if it's a relatively recent (adulthood) development, but I need periods of solitude. I go through periods where I'll just go mad if I'm around other people. Whenever this mood strikes it makes me crazy to be at school, surrounded by all those other students, or at work, touching and talking to strangers all day. (Yet another reason I am SO glad I don't work retail anymore.) People bother me. It's like I can feel some bit of them - like their aura, if you believe in such a thing - brushing up against me and sticking to me, leaving little wispy tendrils behind, like cobwebs. Man, I sound like a psycho when I try to describe it.

It's everybody, too, not just strangers. The effect's also from friends and family. So I just get into this mode where all I want is isolation. Before my Mom retired, it was relatively easy. I'd just ditch school, wait for everyone to go off to work and bam! House to myself. Easy to recharge then. Now that Mom's retired, and Kenny's in and out with a completely unpredictable schedule it's a bit harder. Add in the fact that we've got workers going in and out all the time working on the kitchen and I'm going nuts.

So I'm really happy this weekend that Mom's out of town at a miniature convention and Dad's off hiking and Kenny...well, who knows what he's up to down in Santa Cruz. The house is empty except for me and it's quiet and wonderful!!