November 17th, 2013

piranha - not a parrot.

Should I be so pleased and pampered when I'm not pulling my own weight?

Lately, Seanie's been feeling down because work is so stressful.  There's an unsettled feeling that pervades his interactions with his teammates because there's been a lot of turmoil and turnover in the last few months.  I think that my absence made every change a little more difficult to absorb and added to his stress, which makes me feel a bit guilty because I was off having fun in a museum instead of standing by my man.  I mean, if it weren't for his steady paycheck I wouldn't have been able to accept the offer from Anasazi, and I'd probably be slaving away at a full-time job doing paperwork or back in retail.

Even now, the fact that I'm not desperately scrambling for a new job, willing to take anything to survive, is all due to Seanie's work ethic and dedication to provide for us.  So  I feel rather guilty that I'm pretty content and happy with life.  I do feel a bit untethered, because I haven't figured out how I'm going to fill my days just yet, but I'm not stressed and I can afford to apply only for museum jobs and/or jobs that I'm genuinely interested in.  Once I build up my fun money fund, I can sign up for some art classes again - I'm very interested in pursuing ceramics, and I've got sidetracked from it twice this year.  I can also start painting again, maybe even bust out the sewing machine...  Work a little at RHA, work a little at home, life is just so pleasant and nice.

I should probably stop being a flighty little housewife and find an income source so that Seanie can have the luxury of leaving his job if he wants.  Not that he has any idea what he wants to do if he were to leave his current position, but it only seems fair that he should have the opportunity I'm having right now.