There was a re-training meeting at work for all core associates, so for once I could go to Bath & Body Works without dressing in black and white. Fantastic. Unfortunately, I felt bloated as a whale thanks to the time of the month and one glance in the mirror was enough to convince me that even in my 'fat' pants I was ugly and disgusting. So still wearing the fat pants, which happen to be blue denim with glittery flames painted on the ample flares, I pulled on my three-dollar Forever 21 off-the-shoulder empire-waist fat shirt - which is utterly unflattering when I'm not wearing a bra because I look fat and boobless - over my shiny red add-a-cup padded bra so that the straps were showing and I looked pregnant. Oh man, it was ugly. Slapped some make-up on quickly to hide my facial scars and undereye circles and in the process of that I realized I was late, so I stuck my feet in my black boots (the chunky-heeled ones that are falling apart) and ran out the door.
One co-worker was excited to see me dressed "like a real person." Two of them wanted to know where the shirt was from and if there were any left! Everyone raved and said the outfit was fantastic, very Hilton-esque. Naturally I didn't point the fact out, but these are FAT CLOTHES. These are UGLY. THESE ARE NOT STYLISH OR ATTRACTIVE IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM.
Honestly, if I'd slapped on a poncho and tucked my jeans into my boots I think I'd have hit every bad trend in the past two years.
And they thought it was great.
BAFFLED, PEOPLE. I AM BAFFLED AND SAD.