Suzi (k00kaburra) wrote,

  • Mood:

Breathe in, breathe out.

I missed Aunt Margaret's funeral.
I spent most of this morning meditating. It's what I do to grieve, to celebrate, to express any sort of emotion at all. Breathe in, breathe out. Feel God's energy and strength flow in, pour out Satan's poisons and sins. Start at the core, and work my out, cleansing and purging and purifying. It works so very well - if you're stressing out, you should try it.

But anyway, I missed the funeral, which made both my parents mad at me, I think. I guess they thought I didn't care that Margaret was dead. I did. It hurt. But I was scared. Scared to see her body lowered into the ground. I didn't think I could handle that. So I chickened out, turned about, hid and stayed away. Locked myself into my room, closed my eyes, and drove myself away. Breathe in, breathe out. Refused to go, I wouldn't show, I turned about and wouldn't go out.

Breathe in, breathe out.

I didn't want to be there, with all the other mourners, weeping, crying, spilling pearl teardrops on the casket wherein she lay. Margaret would want to be remembered, but she wouldn't want to drown in our sorrows.

I don't think she minds that I did not go.

Breathe in, breathe out.

  • Kairi Turns Two BBQ

    My super cute niece Kairi turned two on Friday, so Kitty and Taitai decided to hold a little party for her. I missed the first half of it because…

  • Happy Birthday Kero!

    A few days ago, my friend Kero turned 30. (In the picture, she's in the front row, second from the right.) To celebrate, she had a dinner…

  • In which Kero and I fail to defy traditional gender roles.

    So Kero has officially landed in Grownupsville by purchasing a house. I know, it seems like only yesterday that we were in high school, and our…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.