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05 March 2003 @ 10:29 pm
I tried my imagination but it was disturbed.  
Yume: Dead flowers in a black lacquered vase sit upon the table before me. He is yelling at me that I know nothing of pain, of fear, of solitude. The face of his love, she that scorned him for another, hangs around his neck, smiling coyly inside a golden locket. I cannot move, for I am made of porcelain. My sole purpose is to be eye candy, to sit at his side so that he can pretend that rejection no longer burns him. I am only a doll with glass eyes, looking forward, looking pretty, and never blinking when his words would make me crack.

I'm a little disturbed today, and for once talking hasn't helped. It feels like I've talked to everyone today, and at the end of it all nothing's been cleared away or resolved. Am I talking about the wrong things? I feel as if I must be focusing on the wrong things, and that the problem lies elsewhere after all. Otherwise, wouldn't there be resolution?

Other than that little cloud of uncertainty hanging over me all day, I had fun. I just kept moving and hanging out with different people all morning long. First the Boyfriend for a while, early in the morning. Then I found Kitty, and sat in her car until she went to class. On our way there, I ran into Quynh (who was Alex-less for once!) and talked for a few minutes. Bandaid and I went to the cafeteria, and Kelly showed up, so we chilled with Carl and the rest of the gang in the cafeteria 'til Bandaid's class began. On the way out we saw Kyle, and he came and joined us. But I grew bored with the 'anime' group, and hung out in Kitty's car again with Phoung and Trammie, Tyler and Kitty. (Phoung finds the Boyfriend's existance so funny.) Seanie came out to school to visit (possibly because I called and whined because he didn't come see me Monday when I was wearing one of my uber-sexy Lip Service dresses) and that was fun because he's always so cheerful! It's impossible to feel down with Seanie around. Butler called, and I need to call him back tomorrow. People and people and more people are good. Now I'm talking to Spichan and she's always awesomeness. Yay.

Take these stars from my crown; let the years fall down. Lay me out by fire light. Let my skin feel the night. Fasten me to your side, and say it will be soon – you make me so crazy, baby, could swallow the moon.

It's a beautiful night. The stars are twinkling in a cloudless sky. I want to go out and lay beneath this dome of sparkling glitter, but I'd fall asleep. With no one to wake me, I'd slumber 'til I froze – or at least, caught a cold and missed work the next day. I guess I'll have to wait until the summer.
 
 
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