Suzi (k00kaburra) wrote,

Random childhood memory plaguing me

I think that 'Vanilla Bean Noel' fragrance oil, burned in mass Bath & Body Works store quantities, makes me sick. Deborah sent me home yesterday after my stomach started rebelling and I could not stand upright for more than five minutes before crashing down to put my head between my knees and will myself not to gloriously vomit all over customers' shoes.

It was either the oil being burned to fill the store with the stench of plastic cookies or the chicken stars from Carl's Jr. But fast food would never betray me! Nine greasy little chicken-parts-shaped-like-demented-celestial-objects accompanied by a small french fries and tall peppermint mocha frappucino (no, I didn't eat that all at once. GROSS!) wouldn't upset my stomach. There's just no. possible. way.

In other news, which is naturally book-related, does anyone recall an obscure book from the 1970's that was something to the tune of this:
- supposedly a 'catalog' from a future generation of a fantastic archeological discovery
- main archeologist was a definite parody of Tutankhamen's Howard Carter
- the excavation is of a hotel, of classic Motel-6 stylings
- this book contained my first exposure to the word 'formica'
- So basically, each page of the book takes part of a standard motel room and dissects its contents, with gems to the tune of "The ceramic bowl was filled with sacred water, and a lever was pulled every day to send offerings to the gods. Priests would write their prayers on pieces of paper, provided on a rolling tablet affixed to the wall nearby" and that sort of ridiculousness.

I swear this book exists, but I can't find it.

edit to add: after stumbling on the lucky Google combination of 'discovery motel parody' I found the text, which is the delightful Motel of the Mysteries by David Macaulay, who wrote other classics like PYRAMID and CASTLE and CATHEDRAL. At least, I think they're classics. I certainly read them enough in elementary school.

Description from another edition of the book, that summarizes things so much better than I did:

It is the year 4022; all of the ancient country of Usa has been buried under many feet of detritus from a catastrophe that occurred back in 1985. Imagine, then, the excitement that Howard Carson, an amateur archeologist at best, experienced when in crossing the perimeter of an abandoned excavation site he felt the ground give way beneath him and found himself at the bottom of a shaft, which, judging from the DO NOT DISTURB sign hanging from an archaic doorknob, was clearly the entrance to a still-sealed burial chamber. Carson's incredible discoveries, including the remains of two bodies, one of then on a ceremonial bed facing an altar that appeared to be a means of communicating with the Gods and the other lying in a porcelain sarcophagus in the Inner Chamber, permitted him to piece together the whole fabric of that extraordinary civilization.

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