I think this was triggered by The Age of Bronze: One Thousand Ships that I was reading last night before bed, and Helen of Troy's forty suitors. Granted, my face won't launch one thousand ships but I found myself thinking thinking about the suitors, and the fact that all that I've had can be counted on one hand. This seems like an unreasonably low number for twenty-three years, but then I haven't really been single for the last four. Also, I'm only counting the fellows that asked me on dates, not guys who may have liked me but never said anything. (But I doubt any of those exist, except maybe the FedEx guy at Bath & Body Works. Lisa always said he had a crush on me, but I think he just made a beeline for me in the store because my last name was the shortest.)
Sean would probably object to this list existing, but in the end he's number one so why should he complain?
I'm making this list mostly because I want to get it out of my head, because then I'll hopefully stop brooding on it and move back to healthier things, like crushing on Jack Sparrow and working up the balls to e-mail my old Bible teacher and tell him I think he's swell and PS thanks for re-awakening the faith thing that was kinda neat k thx bai.
(Also not listing full names unless I've mentioned them before on the off-chance that one of these guys reads this diary. They might get embarrassed.)
Before I graduated high school – nothing. Nada. I was the most unpopular girl in school because I couldn't get a date to anywhere.
A-W- - Nice guy who worked at Sports Mart while I worked at Sunrise Bakery. He came in to buy lunch everyday and was very polite. (He was also African-American, which makes him unique on my list.) After six months or so he asked for my number and we talked a few times, but at that point I think I may have been dating Sailor. We never went on a date because of transportation problems and I think I eventually stopped answering his phone calls. I was a jerk. He was a nice guy, but he didn't have enough money and I didn't want to be the one driving everywhere.
Sailor – I was with him two years, but that relationship really didn't need to be more than a few months. He was a good starter boyfriend, someone who could get me used to the idea of having another person to consider and learn to kiss well and all of that, but there was no long-term potential and he was really too weird. If none of the adults in my life – parents, “aunties”, and others – didn't like him, that should have been a big fat warning scribbled with a black sharpie over everything. Also, the fact that he wouldn't go to church with me was another sign I chose to ignore, so he led me away from God and that was all bad, too. Two years. Man. Also since I broke up with him I was extra-nice about it, and ended up buying the engagement ring he gave me because he wouldn't take it back and sell it, but he really needed the money. That was kind but totally lame of me, especially considering I even paid him retail for it. Ugh! Now I have a ring that is not my style at all and I'll never wear it. Bad decisions all around.
D – D was fun. D was never anything serious. He just wanted to get into my pants and everyone in that little group at DeAnza knew it. I liked the attention and didn't want it to go away, so I joked with him and always made it sound like I was this|close to breaking up with Sailor and then I'd totally be free-market. I think the flirtation must've lasted about two and a half years, because it started around the same time Sailor asked me out and I last heard from D a couple of months after Seanie and I started going steady. Poor guy. I had no interest in him except as someone to raise my ego up when I felt ugly. I probably owe him a fruit basket or three in apology.
M – One of Seanie's co-workers back when he worked at Palm. I really do wish I'd treated him better, he was such a sweet guy. When I was working at Bath & Body Works that first holiday season, he brought me cold medicine when I was sick and a Christmas card and he was always fun to talk to on my breaks. We talked about going to see The Last Samurai and went to get coffee once or twice, but then that branch at Palm shut down and when he told me, I totally rushed him off the phone so I could call Seanie and see how it affected him. Sensitive like a doorknob, that's me. Lost track of him, which I rather regret as he was a great friend, saw with a girl in Bath & Body Works a year or two ago and he was working at Kohl's. Nice guy. I hope he's doing well. I should get Seanie to find him on Facebook for me.
Seanie – Currently boyfriend. Been with him like two years and a few months. Great guy. You read stories about him all the time so I won't put one about him here. Totally love him even though he's a goofball.
RD – Park ranger at Yosemite. He was wearing a uniform, I was at a Yosemite Club convention where everyone was 50+. He was a breath of fresh air! Also did I mention the park ranger uniform? Anyway, we square-danced and hung out at the campfire and he offered to take me on a moonlit walk of the Mariposa Grove, which I'm pretty sure was code for 'sex in the back of the ranger truck' so I declined. If it really had been a moonlit walk though, then I am very disappointed that I declined, because that part of the park is closed after dark. Dangit. Anyway, talked to him on a nearly daily basis for a while, until I mentioned I had a boyfriend. We still talk sometimes, but he has moved on out of the bay area and to Washington DC. He's an aide to a representative now, I think. Good times.
See? Six guys. I can count 'em on one hand, if I borrow a finger from the other hand.
Really not that exciting.
Kinda lame, even.