WHOA.

So I have this childhood friend that I lost track of years and years ago, and it's always been one of my great regrets that we have lost touch. I've tried to contact her a couple of times with letters sent through the postal service, but I have no idea if they were received. I never got a response, anyway, but the address was several years old and she probably wasn't living there anymore. I also looked for her a couple of times on Facebook and MySpace, but never with success.

I was thinking about her this morning because around this time of year I would see her at Country Roads Music Camp at Mt. Madonna. I tried googling her again, but no luck. So I decided to try searching for her mother.

Success! I found something!

Her mother's obituary.

Her mother was such an amazing, strong woman. Smart as can be, too. When I was younger I always admired her; she was the first person I knew who homeschooled her kids, and her life seemed so bohemian compared to how I was raised. They lived out on a ranch and had tons of animals, and the kids were so smart (I think my friend graduated college the year I graduated high school - and our ages were less than three months apart) and the daughter (my friend) was active in gymnastics and theatre and just all these cool things that I could never do because I was at school all day. I thought she had the best life, and her mom was just the best mom ever.

And it turns out she's been gone for almost two years, and I had no idea. I just feel so sad. The good news is I finally found a way to (hopefully) contact my friend, but in a way I feel like a huge failure now because at a time when she needed her friends I wasn't there for her. (Although as kerotab can testify, I am horrible to have around when your parents die. I remember when she called to tell me her mom had passed away, the conversation went something like this:
Kero: Hey...
Me: Hey! What's up? Your mom feeling better yet?
OR
Me: Hey! How's your mom doing, did she kick the bucket yet?
(I can't remember what I said, but either way it was totally not cool and inappropriate.))

Anywho, so I sent my friend a message through Wayn.com (never heard of this site before, anyone here a user?) and I hope she answers. I'd really like us to hang out again; I always had so much fun with her and I never really told her how important she and her mom were to me. But of course, part of me wonders if the reason I never heard back from her when I wrote is not that the letters got lost, but that she hates me for some reason, probably extremely valid, that I cannot recall.