Dear Body,
Look, I know I could do better. I don't exercise regularly and I haven't given you chocolate in a few days. I'M SORRY. I'll do better in the future, I promise.
But that's no reason to get unprofessional about things. For example, we just finished our period two weeks ago. WHY ARE YOU BLEEDING AGAIN?
I'm pretty sure when I signed the GIRL contract there was a line that you only get one period a month!
ARGH.
Love,
Me