"If English was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for them Mexicans." -- Some politician in Texas
Itari dakishime yami wo yogu Bareri i na
Don't you know? Mujaki na osanai i yakusuku
Kanae rutame ni hoe tsutsukete
Unconfirmed Darwin Award
January 2002, Brazil | Russian Roulette has always been a breeding ground for natural selection, but the men involved in this story deserve extra consideration for their unique approach to this self-destructive game.
On New Year's Eve, Antonio and his friend were befogged by "pinga", A traditional Brazilian liquor, when they began playing Russian roulette with holiday fireworks. Their version of the game consisted of lighting fireworks, and holding them in their mouths to see who could delay longest. The man who discarded the explosive closest to the point of detonation was the victor in this battle of wills.
Their blatant disregard for personal safety was matched only by their foolish bravery. Antonio was the winner, holding one of the fireworks in his mouth a bit too long, and thereby earning praise for his "courage" at his funeral.
Reference: O Estado de São Paul
Iitai koto so iie nai koto
Hitori kiri de ka e to maraite Baby
Kimi no egao wo mamori tai
It's just to Revolution (yeah)
Confirmed Darwin Award
March 2002, Bangladesh | Six highway robbers, who had apparently watched too many gangster movies, were caught in their own trap when they blocked a bypass with their car at midnight. The driver of an oncoming truck carrying a cargo of cows was unable to halt his heavy vehicle in time. The truck rolled right through the blockade, crushing the car and its scheming occupants. Five dacoits died, and the sixth was critically wounded.
A cow was also killed in the accident.
Reference: The Bangladesh Independent
kimi ni tsubaetai kizuite wa kowashite kitai
A rabbi is sitting on an airplane next to a Korean guy. After they have been flying together in silence for a while, the rabbi leans over and says, "You know, I've never forgiven you Chinese for what you did at Pearl Harbor."
The Korean looks shocked and replies, "What the hell are you talking about?!?!? It was the Japanese the bombed Pearl Harbor, not the Chinese. And besides, I'm not Chinese or Japanese, I'm Korean!"
The rabbi says, " Korean, Japanese, Chinese, what's the difference?"
A little while later, the Korean man says, "You know, I've never forgiven you Jews for sinking the Titanic." The rabbi looks confused and mad and says, "What are you talking about? The Jews didn't have anything to do with that! An iceberg sank the Titanic!"
The Korean guy replies, "Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, what's the difference?"
kokoro no you ake machi tsutsukete
This one is special, for my Butler. An Australian man was sitting in his favorite restaurant when a Japanese bloke said to him, "I am sick of seeing your big round eyes."
The Australian replied, "Put on a blind fold."
The Japanese man asked, "Where do I get one?”
The Australian then said, "Here take my shoe lace."
taerare ru asuri mado wo ake wo you
kokashou ureja tsu kamenai
It's just to Revolution
Three guys, one Chinese, one French, and one Mexican wanted to watch the Olympics but didn't have any money to buy tickets. The Chinese guy suddenly got an idea and went home to fetch his bicycle.
He rode up to the security guard at the gate and yells, "China, bicycling! Hurry, let me in, I'm late!" The guard, not wanting to jeopardize his job, lets the Chinese guy through.
Seeing that this idea worked, the French guy runs home and grabs a long pole and runs back to the security guard and yells, "France, pole vaulting! Let me in, I'm late!" The security guard lets the French guy through.
Seeing how great their ideas were, the Mexican runs home and grabs a chain link fence, wraps the fence around his body and hops up to the security guard and yells, "Mexico, fencing!"
Chisana yuuki ga mezou meteyuku yo Fly (yeah)
Today the tigre had a bag of bellyflops, a present from Vo, and I assisted her all through lunch and third period with the extremely difficult task of eating them. (Bellyflops are deformed Jelly Bellies that the factory sells at a discounted price. You don’t get to choose the flavors, but it’s like four bucks for two pounds of candy. Dirt cheap.) I’m such a food groupie – have a sugary snack and I’m your best friend ‘til they’re gone. ^_^ We spent third period analyzing a poem by Yeats that dealt with the Anti-Christ and Revelations (my favorite book of the Bible, na no da. ‘Sall ‘bout Mokushiroku!) That was fun. Kostas was pretty familiar with that book of the Bible, too. Actually, Lisa, he and I are probably the closest thing our English class has to a “Bible Belt” so it was sort’ve entertaining sitting there, listening to Jessy talk about religion as something that only exists because people think it does (So much I should’ve said but didn’t...fwee.) and watching Kostas get bothered by it. Even Lisa, who is normally pretty tolerant of Jessy, was getting a twitchy-annoyed look.
mejaku ja demo
issho na de make te mo
hashiri tsuzukete ieru koto
its just to Revolution(o o oh yea)