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30 March 2003 @ 08:13 am
If I've lost the moon, can I live on the stars?  
Yume: The worms, they eat my eyes. The boy, he eats my skin. The fish, they eat my bones.

I met a man without a dollar to his name, who had no traits of any value but his smile. I met a man who had no yearn or claim to fame; who was content to let life pass him for a while. And I was sure that all I ever wanted was a life like the movie stars led – and he kissed me right here, and he said,
"I'll give you stars and the moon and a soul to guide you and a promise I'll never go. I'll give you hope to bring out all the life inside you and the strength that will help you grow. I'll give you truth and a future that's twenty times better than any Hollywood plot." And I thought, "You know, I'd rather have a yacht"
I met a man who lived his life out on the road, who left a wife and kids in Portland on a whim. I met a man whose fire and passion always showed; who asked if I could spare a week to ride with him. But I was sure that all I ever wanted was a life that was scripted and planned.
And he said, "But you don't understand – I'll give you stars and the moon and the open highway and a river beneath your feet. I'll give you days full of dreams if you travel my way and a summer you can't repeat. I'll give you nights full of passion and days of adventure – no strings, just warm summer rain." And I thought, "You know, I'd rather have champagne."
I met a man who had a fortune in the bank, who had retired at age thirty, set for life. I met a man, and didn't know which stars to thank, and then he asked one day if I would be his wife. And I looked up, and all I could think of was the life I had dreamt I would live and I said to him, "What will you give?"
"I'll give you cars and a townhouse in Turtle Bay and a fur and a diamond ring. And we'll be married in Spain in my yacht today, and we'll honeymoon in Beijing. And you'll meet stars at the parties I throw at my villas in Nice and Paris in June." And I thought, "Okay," and I took a breath and I got my yacht. And the years went by and it never changed and it never grew and I never dreamed.
And I woke one day and I looked around and I thought, "My God...I'll never have the moon."

I spent last night in conference with my many teddy bears and this morning I was so tired, for I hadn't really slept. At work my boss said I looked "serious," and I wonder just what was on my face to make me so. I wrote a long and scathing letter to someone that I loathe and it made me feel surprisingly better. Kitty and later Bandaid came to visit me in the afternoon, which was good because company is wonderful at work.

When I got home, Seanie called and we had a long talk about many things, ranging from the trip we'll be taking tomorrow with some other friends to some of my current hobbies. Seanie disapproves of what I'm doing – he says it's quite wrong and I couldn't quite argue the point – and he thinks it's quite terrible and mean. I don't think so...I gave fair warning, didn't I? Yes, I did.
Current Mood: lonelylonely
Current Music: "stars and the moon" from "songs for a new world"