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20 October 2009 @ 08:32 pm
Leave your kid at home, yeesh!  

Would you bring your kids to someone else's house, unannounced?


My mom is a member of a bluegrass group, and they have meetings at our house once or twice a month. Today, one of the members of this group (whom I've never seen before, so she's either new or someone's wife/sister/whatever) and she brought her two-year old with her. I don't like kids, and I especially don't like surprise kids. Mom had no idea this child was coming until she heard it talking to itself as it entered the house.

Even worse, the owner of the child didn't bring anything to amuse it. No books, no crayons, no toys. Nothing. So first my mom looked to see if we had anything suitable, but we haven't had a kid that young in this house for twenty years. Naturally, we have nothing. So they give the kid a permanent marker - a sharpie! - and a piece of paper and she starts scribbling on it. You just KNOW that the two-year old is going to eventually miss the paper and permanently ruin our table.

I think it's horribly tacky to bring a child to someone's house without asking - especially when the person is, at best, a very casual acquaintance and at worse a complete stranger. But if you do have to bring a child with you due to some sort of emergency, give it a way to amuse itself! I mean, how hard is it to keep a coloring book or a toy doll or WHATEVER in the car?

I had some painting to do tonight, but I don't really want to play with toxic chemicals while some munchkin is wandering around looking for stuff to stick in its mouth.
deathjoydeathjoy on October 21st, 2009 03:55 am (UTC)
Only if I was stopping by briefly. Not like, to hang out!
Minoukatze: dorothyminoukatze on October 21st, 2009 04:42 am (UTC)
Unless it were someone I knew really well, whom I knew wouldn't mind, I would never dream of popping over with my kid. It is tacky, and I say this as a parent of a young child.
Crafter and Mom Extraordinare!exousia on October 21st, 2009 05:39 am (UTC)
My kid wouldn't be an issue though, and I would likely let the person know first. When you have kids they're just an extention of YOU. They go where you go most of the time. She should have brought something to entertain the child with though.

Bad kids are result of bad parenting.
Suzik00kaburra on October 21st, 2009 02:22 pm (UTC)
I should have added a second question - are you a parent? because my mom said something similar last night after the lady and her kid left. She was a lot more sympathetic than I was (I heartily dislike children, and probably will continue to do so until one of my good friends pops one out) but still irritated that a child showed up so unexpected. Our house is childproof in any sense of the word, so she was constantly on guard.

But you're right, it all comes down to parenting. When I was little, my Mom had to take my brother and I everywhere because there was no one else to take care of us. But she always told people ahead of time, and we had a bag of stuff we hauled everywhere that had games and toys so we'd play quietly in the back.
Crafter and Mom Extraordinare!exousia on October 21st, 2009 03:01 pm (UTC)
I really personally think the thinking around this changes as you become a parent. Because before I had kids I would answer that I would never take a child with me unannounced. But now that I have Evan (he's 6 months old) I just feel that it would be odd to have to "Okay" it with everyone before I bring him over.

I guess people at this point have to understand that he's an extention of me now and that if you invite me over - unless it's a fancy dinner or a night out or stipulated that it should be a child free activity, little Evan could and will be showing up with me from now on and for a very long time. LOL
Min: HP/Snape/Annoyedphantomminuet on October 21st, 2009 03:10 pm (UTC)
I'm going to sound like the middle-aged grump that I'm slowly becoming, but yeesh. Parents these days. I see, over and over again, parents who take little responsibility for their children's behavior at other people's homes and in public places. He's your child and your responsibility, folks. No one else has an obligation to entertain, amuse, or even, quite frankly, tolerate your kid.
~ * flurr sprite * ~nkicroft on October 23rd, 2009 11:50 pm (UTC)
as someone who isn't a parent and entertains the idea of becoming one SOMEDAY but is in more or less the state of mind that even my kid cousins who can be adorable but in general can be fairly irritating... hell no. my house is NOT childproof, i do NOT want some drooling kid prone to inherent curiosity or temper tantrums wandering around my electronic equipment... how could you possibly expect someone else to take care of your kid for you? because that's what you'd be doing if you toss them at a host unannounced. i think it's perfectly reasonable that if you are a parent and you have to bring your kid along then you ask the host if that's okay because that's just common courtesy. maybe check to see if their house is indeed childproof, or if they have pets that don't do well around children and maybe you shouldn't be forcing the host into a particular situation. unless you know the host well enough to know if they're used to having kids over and have entertaining objects around, why on earth would you ever show up anywhere with nothing to occupy the kid for an extended period of time? which applies regardless of whether or not you asked to bring your kid. i mean c'mon, a 6-month old baby who will sleep the whole time is one thing... a toddler? quite another. that's just rude and inconsiderate, a complete lack of respect for the host and their house.

whoa, that was a bit of a rant. i think i've had to deal with too many bad parents hahaha
Suzik00kaburra on October 24th, 2009 04:48 am (UTC)
Ha ha ha :D Well, obviously I'm not into having kids around either, but it makes me feel like less of a monster when it looks like most of my friends wouldn't be happy in the same situation!
whimsicalbeauwhimsicalbeau on October 26th, 2009 03:47 pm (UTC)
It's not fair just to expect people to "understand" that you have a kid you plan to bring around unannounced. Even if you have a child, a lot of your friends may not, and don't understand - unless you surround yourself with other parents.

I was raised in a world where this sort of thing didn't happen - if I was unannounced, it was typically because we were only swinging by for a minute, or because I was old enough to keep my mouth shut and sit quietly for ten minutes while whatever happened, happened. Never for hours though. If my parents really needed to go somewhere, they would call my Uncle or Grandparents to take care of me for a little while. I guess if you don't have family or friends in town that you trust, that's a little harder.

Still, unannounced persons at any event are troublesome, children persons don't make the uninvited excusable.