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23 October 2009 @ 10:02 pm
It's not a good customer service day.  
Sooo behind in school. Not good.
Three midterms next week. Also not good.
I'm tellin' ya, by Friday I'm gonna keel over and die.

--

Crazy resident today: She takes her dog out for a walk. Near a pond in the common area, she stumbles into a swarm of wasps and gets stung. Her dog gets stung. They're both traumatized. In the process of escaping she drops her sunglasses and her cell phone, as well as the doggie-doo bags she carried with her. Her dog's poo, which I guess she was in the middle of cleaning up, is left on the ground. She and the dog go home and puff up like balloons.

She calls the office. She wants one of the Maintenance guys to go up and check the wasps because those things were aggressive and nasty. Fine. That's kinda in their job description, right? If there's a nest right next to the path, they should know about. BUT this resident also wants someone (of course she doesn't specify who, other than not her) to go up to the wasp-infested path and get her cell phone and her sunglasses for her.

Give. Me. A. Break. Get your own fuckin' stuff that YOU dropped. If the wasps are such a terror, you're a horrible person for expecting someone else to go brave that. If the wasps have left and you're just too chicken to go up there yourself...well, too bad.

The leader of the Maintenance Crew happened to be in the office and we were chatting before she called, so I told him about the call and he said he'd take a look, but he was having a busy day so it wasn't exactly high priority.

Lady called back an hour or two later when I got back from my lunch break (she may have tried to call sooner, but I wasn't there) to see if her cell phone was at the office yet. I told her no, it wasn't, and I hadn't seen anyone from the Maintenance team so I didn't know if they'd even had a chance to go up yet. She repeated that there was no way she was walking up there to get her stuff. She had been stung and it was horrible and she was pissed. I said nothing, because really, there was nothing to say. I wasn't going to apologize for the wasps being there, because that's an act of God and the office had nothing to do with it. I wasn't going to volunteer to go retrieve her stuff, because that's totally outside my job description. I wasn't going to say "Get the fuck OVER it" because that is a quick way to lose a job. So I said nothing other than non-commital "Hmm-hmm." She said she would call back in a while to see if her cell phone had been brought into the office. I said "OK" and she hung up.

FIVE MINUTES LATER (ten minutes max) she came to the office door and asked for her cell phone. I told her it wasn't there, and as far as I knew no one had a chance to go up to the pond and get it - just like I told her on the phone. She wanted someone to go and get it RIGHT NOW - but I told her that no one was there. The Maintenance manager was somewhere else on the property or gone for the day; the one crew member on duty was hanging party lights for an evening event, a job planned for him for days. I wasn't going to pull him from it. She gave me a A Dirty Look, but I sure wasn't going to go trotting up the path for her sunglasses. Finally she muttered something about going back to the hospital and left.

She's a very vocal resident, so I'm sure she'll call Monday and leave my bosses nasty messages about my lack of customer service and the insufficient speed with which we reacted. And all I have to say is this:
YOU'RE THE IDIOT WHO PANICKED AND DROPPED YOUR STUFF. GO GET IT YOURSELF.
YES, I REALIZE YOU ARE IN PAIN BECAUSE YOU WERE STUNG BY WASPS, BUT IT'S STILL YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO RETRIEVE YOUR OWN BELONGINGS.
Yeesh.

--

So it was already a bad day when I got to Lush, and right before we closed I got another *delightful* customer. Lush has a promotion going right now where if you spend $40, you can pick out a free BUBBLE BATH. It's a pretty rockin' deal, since it includes any bath bomb, including the $8.95 Comforter and the $11.95 Blue Skies. So this lady comes in with her posse of fresh import Asians. They don't really interact with the staff, other than to establish that they know the promotion and know the Lush products. After she shops for 15-20 minutes, she comes up to the register. She wants to spend exactly $40 to get her free item, and hands me her items very carefully. The item she wants for free she keeps separate, balled up in her hand where I can't see it. I figure it must be one of the expensive bubble baths, and she wants to make sure I don't charge her for it. Whatever.

Her first total was $32, so she picks out another item, which brings her up to $39. Then she takes something out and replaces it with something slightly more expensive to bring herself up to $40. Finally she hands over the free item she's been hoarding away from me, and when I open it up I see it's a Floating Island Bath Melt. Bath melts are cocoa butter confections that make the bath water moisturizing and luxurious. They're also, unfortunately, not part of the promotion. When I point this out gently, her face immediately darkens like a spoiled child's.
Her: "But I was here before and she said it was OK."
Me: " I'm sorry, but the bath melt is not included in the promotion as a free item."
Her: "They let me do it last time!"
Me: "They may have been able to make an exception then, but I'm not a manager and I do not have the ability to override the promotion. I can only give you bubble baths for free."
Her: **seriously, she looks like a child about to cry because Mommy won't buy her ice cream**
Her: "Give me this one free or I won't buy any!"
Me: *shrug* "I can't. Sorry."

She turns and storms out with her crew, and I start un-bagging the items in her basket and my co-workers help me put them away. As the exchange had progressed I started to recognize her - she's a semi-regular pain in the ass who ALWAYS come in and tries to twist the promotions to get better deals or asks for excessive samples or special services, like cutting bath bombs in half (which we aren't supposed to do because it's dangerous). You'd think by now she'd be so horrified by our customer service she'd stop showing up, but no luck. Oh well. I'm sure I'll see her again during the Christmas season.
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Danny Darkosaru_kage on October 24th, 2009 06:09 am (UTC)
It's amazing what people will do for free stuff. Back when I was in high school I used to work at a gas station. People would come in all the time--normal, clean-cut, respectable, otherwise completely decent human beings--and say the craziest, most outlandish things, just to get a free car wash. And they would do it all the time. Some of them would even regularly exploit their kids, send them in crying, anything for a free car wash. And the scale of it was epic.

One lady used to come in three times a week demanding a free car wash because the last one was so unsatisfactory. Eventually I called BS, because, you know, you'd think if they were that bad she'd just go to the other car wash directly across the street. She threw this horrendous fit, like total diaper-rash temper tantrum, in front of a store full of customers, claiming I was trying to cheat her, and this and that and this again. Luckily for me the manager was there, refunded her the whole $1.50 a basic wash cost, and then proceeded to permanently 86 her because she was obviously incapable of behaving like a grownup (the lady was in her late 50s).

That job did a lot to kill my faith in humanity. I had absolutely no clue the depths people would sink to for free stuff. I was totally astonished.
Minphantomminuet on October 24th, 2009 01:15 pm (UTC)
Oh, man. I remember retail. It's probably why I ended up in law school. ;-)