Log in

No account? Create an account
01 May 2010 @ 08:31 pm
Isolation and solitude, yes please!  
I don't know if I always always this way, or if it's a relatively recent (adulthood) development, but I need periods of solitude. I go through periods where I'll just go mad if I'm around other people. Whenever this mood strikes it makes me crazy to be at school, surrounded by all those other students, or at work, touching and talking to strangers all day. (Yet another reason I am SO glad I don't work retail anymore.) People bother me. It's like I can feel some bit of them - like their aura, if you believe in such a thing - brushing up against me and sticking to me, leaving little wispy tendrils behind, like cobwebs. Man, I sound like a psycho when I try to describe it.

It's everybody, too, not just strangers. The effect's also from friends and family. So I just get into this mode where all I want is isolation. Before my Mom retired, it was relatively easy. I'd just ditch school, wait for everyone to go off to work and bam! House to myself. Easy to recharge then. Now that Mom's retired, and Kenny's in and out with a completely unpredictable schedule it's a bit harder. Add in the fact that we've got workers going in and out all the time working on the kitchen and I'm going nuts.

So I'm really happy this weekend that Mom's out of town at a miniature convention and Dad's off hiking and Kenny...well, who knows what he's up to down in Santa Cruz. The house is empty except for me and it's quiet and wonderful!!
whimsicalbeauwhimsicalbeau on May 10th, 2010 04:57 pm (UTC)
I'm probably the unspoken motivation for this post...
I totally know how you feel. Despite being 26 years old and an adult, the barrier of my door acts only as an illusion of isolation and privacy - nobody even knocks.

As much as a relate to this issue, i'm probably a large factor of the stresses of it you speak of. Since I can find no comfort in privacy at my own home, I don't feel "at home" there - so I am most able to relax when I spend time with you - and tend to jump at the opportunity to do so. ...sorry. I worry sometimes that my visits are hard on you - you seem tired, so I try to take it easy. We all need our isolation sometimes. That's kind of one of the reasons I'm taking up surfing - to get away from...everything.

Sorry if I burn you out, although we don't see as much of each other as we used to these days, I sometimes forget how MUCH of your time I take when you have so little free, due to school, work, and family. =(