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03 December 2011 @ 08:03 pm
Writer's Block: Are you afraid of the dark?  
Like many people, I fear death.  The cessation of life.  It scares the crap out of me.

Yes, on an intellectual level I know that Jesus is my Savior and there's a life after this in Heaven.  But I can't imagine it.  I can't wrap my mind around a world free of strife and suffering and evil - and isn't that what Heaven claims to be? - and since I can't really see it, I can't trust it on a emotional level and I am terrified of dying.

It comes and goes in phases.  Like, sometimes I don't think death will be so bad.  It's just the next step on the endless adventure, right?  But other times, I'll think about ceasing to live in this body, in this world, and it's like a punch to the gut.  I can't breath, I can't move - that's how frightened I am.  I want to run and hide from Death, but I don't know how.

Sometimes the greatest terror comes when I think, what if the soul doesn't leave the body when we die?  What if you're trapped in a rotting corpse and you can feel the worms crawl in and out of your bones and you can't do anything because you've lost the power of animation?  What happens when you are cremated and left to inhabit a pile of ashes?  Do you become a ghost?  Are you destroyed and gone until the Resurrection?

I am so easily scared, it seems.