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30 December 2011 @ 11:47 am
It's a matter of respect, not just timeliness!  
A couple of nights ago - the twenty-sixth, in fact - I went out to meet some friends in downtown Mountain View. We had arranged to meet at five o'clock; in order to make it I had to leave the Buckley Christmas gathering early. But hey, my friends and I had made our plans long before Seanie's mom decided to move Christmas, so I gave them priority.

Well. I'm not going to make that mistake again.

I meant to leave Seanie's around four, but my actual departure was closer to four thirty. That was fine, it turns out; when I texted my friends they hadn't left Kitty's house yet anyway. They told me to meet them at her house, but by the time I got that message I was in Los Gatos. To get to Kitty's I would have to turn around and drive twenty minutes to her house. Then we'd just about face and go right back to where I was now. So going to her house would be both out of the way and a waste of time, so I told them I would meet them in Mountain View as planned. I get up there a few minutes after five.

I text Kero, asking for an estimated arrival time. She says they're running late, which I expected and planned for. I wander into Bookbuyers, my favorite bookstore, and browse for about half an hour. I was getting hungry, so I text again asking when how far off they are. It turns out that they haven't even left yet.

I was furious. If my friend Sandy, who lives on the east coast and only comes out to California once a year, hadn't been with them I would have gone straight home and called it a night. We had made the plans several weeks previous, and everyone knew we were to meet at five in Mountain View. If they're a couple minutes late, fine. Unexpected things happen. But they knew I was waiting for them in Mountain View, and instead of leaving to join me these friends of mine just sat around Kitty's house for another half hour without even taking the courtesy to let me know they were delayed.

How rude and inconsiderate can you get???

Finally, a few minutes past six - an hour after we were supposed to meet - they finally reach downtown Mountain View and ask where I am. I tell them I'm at the bookstore, and they agree to meet there. Then a few minutes later I get a text message saying that actually, they're already at the restaurant so why don't I come down and meet them. This got me all angry all over again because:
A. We had originally planned to choose between two restaurants when we met up, depending what everyone was in the mood for. They chose without me.
B. Annoyingly, they chose Chinese food, which I'd had the night before. Granted, they couldn't have known that, but if someone had troubled to ask for my input I could have told them. It probably wouldn't have changed the final outcome, but then I wouldn't feel left out.
C. The restaurant was about a seven-ten minute walk from where I was, and by the time I got there they'd already gone in and sat down, so I had to search for them. It would've been nice for them to wait for me, given that the restaurant wasn't crowded.

I was very frosty, to say the least.

I love my friends, but I felt so very disrespected. I mean, I was at a Christmas party, but I left it early to meet them - and they couldn't even be bothered to let me know that they weren't running on time. It was like, why should I bother to work with their schedules when clearly my time isn't valued by them?

This is actually a pattern with Kitty; she is always late when we meet, even when I tell her I'm on a tight timeline. For example, a few years back I had a lunch break between classes, so I went to meet her at her work for lunch. I had to be back at school by a certain time. She was 'wrapping up work' when I arrived, and said she'd be a few minutes. Fine, whatever. I sat down in the lobby to wait. Ten minutes, twenty minutes go by. I call her to find out what's going on, and she assures me she'll be down in a few. At the half-hour point, I call her and tell her to forget it because I have to go back to class. That day, I get no lunch at all, because there's no time to grab anything when I get back to school. Another time, we were supposed to meet to help pick out bridesmaid dresses for Bandaid's wedding. I'm in the middle of writing a paper, but since this is important I agree to drive out to Milpitas to meet up with them, although I tell them I can't stay out past eight because I have to finish my work. Once again, Kitty (and Bandaid by default, since they're carpooling) is half an hour late, not that she bothered to tell me. We don't wrap up until nearly nine o'clock.

Obviously, next time we plan to hang out I'll have to talk to her about this, because it's become a serious problem. It just makes me so mad, but I don't want to throw a fit when we're in a group because then I'll look like the bad guy starting drama. But obviously, I can't keep ignoring this either, or I really will blow up one of these days.