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28 September 2001 @ 05:34 pm
Mind Boggling or help me, it's a survey  
I watched Zoolander with Sandy, Kris, and Jackie this afternoon so I blame overexposure to extremely asinine male models for my sudden urge to complete this survey, cheerfully stolen from another diary. You know who you are.
On a somewhat related note (not at all related, actually) I found Five For Fighting's "Superman" song. Wicked groovy awesome.

*THE IDIOT SURVEY*
1:Have you ever been told your an idoit?: Not seriously. (By the way, why is 'idiot' mispelled in the entire survey? Pfft. I should fix it, but I won't. But I know how to spell idiot, okay? Just so you know...also, the wrong 'your' was used. It should've been 'you're.' But even that is poor sentence structure. It should be "Have you ever been told THAT you're an idiot?" But enough anality about the question.)
2: Have you ever said,"Damn, I'm an idoit"?:Again, not seriously. I am actually a genius, after all.
3:Do stationary objects impede your progress?: No. Weird question.
4:Have you ever tried to bite your own ear?: No. Is that even humanly possible?
5:Do you own a CD with only one good song on it ?: No, but I own a heckuva lot of CDs that only have two good songs on them. (Shawn Mullins, here I am thinking of you.)
6:Have you ever thrown a deadly object in the air and than tried to catch it ?: Sorta. Forks are potentially deadly if you choke on them. But, of course, you'd have to be an IDIOT to do so.
7: In your post:toddler years, have you ever mispelled a word with less than 5 letters?: No.
8a: Do you stick your tongue out of your mouth when doing task: "...when doing tasks" would sound better. No.
8b: was it a simple task?: No.
9:Have you ever tried to peirce a body part?: Pierce. Not by myself. I had pierced ears for a while, but it wasn't self-inflicted.
10: is your IQ less than 90?: As if. Of course not. I've never had it tested, but someone who gets in the 99th percentile on statewide/national standardized testing does not need to worry about low intelligence.
11:Has a vending machine ever stolen 3 dollors or so from you?: I've never had any amount of dollors stolen from me. But of course you meant dollars. No.
12: Have you ever written something really redundant, like "$10 dollors"?: Not really. When I'm writing/speaking I tend to repeat myself, though.
13: Did you have to read question 12 more than once to understand it?: No.
14: Have you ever made animal noises thinking they would understand you?: No, but I talk to animals. Just in my language - if they can't get that, it's their problem.
15: have you ever eaten a sticky, messy food with your fingers instead of a utensil?: No. As my friend Star'll tell you, I am totally anal about using utensils.
16: Have you ever fallen backwords out of a chair?: Backwards, dear. Or Sdrawkcab could work, I suppose. But anyway, yes, I have. There's a really funny story involved, which includes elements like chocolate pudding and really tight pants. But you don't need details like that...
17: Have you ever fallen into a river/lake/hole in the ground while sober?: **snicker** Not since I was learning to walk.
18:Have you ever eaten/drank something unedible?: Inedible, dear. Whoever made this survey up was really an idiot. Actually, that makes sense. But back to the question. No, I haven't, unless you count my mother's cooking.
19:Have you ever yelled a profane word out the window when it was unapropriete?: Inappropriate, okay? INAPPROPRIATE! Anyway...no, I let Kristin handle that department. I was swearing at our last football game, though. Discreetly, in Japanese. But still, I was.
20:Have you ever jumped/fallen off a second story building/balcony/rock/ect?: Sure. I usually jump the last story in those five-story parking lots because I hate walking down the stairs.
21:Have you ever said you were high or drunk through you really weren't?: Once or twice, but no one believed me. I'm too straight, or something.
22:Have you ever locked yourself in a room and were unable to escape?: No.
23:Have you ever dropped alot of your stuff in public?: It wasn't my stuff, but yes. ^^;; I was carting a load of English textbooks to a classroom I was TAing for, and the cart (which was gimped and a half) fell over. I shouted "SHIT!" at the top of my lungs, and Mrs. Whitaker poked her head out and asked, "Sam, are you okay?" (I fainted in her class sophomore year, so she's deathly afraid that I'll keel over and die anytime I'm near here. **snicker** But she also thinks I'm a creative genius.) So that was my major clumsy moment of the past five years.
24:Have you ever intentanally passed up on an oppertunity to talk to someone you thought was hot ?: Intentionally. Opportunity. Idiot. No.
25:Do you type e-mails for fun?: You mean surveys like this? Well, one thing's for sure...I SPELL THEM RIGHT!

add up your "yesses" and multiply times 4, and if you have done both/things, such as falling/jumping, or eating/drinking, give yourself double damage. The result is your percintage of idoicy. I had like two yesses, right? (It's percentage.) So I have 8% idiocy. Pfft.
Of course, seeing as an idiot wrote the survey, doesn't that mean the results are invalid anyway? Or, because the writer was an idiot, do they understand the idiot thought processes better than a non-idiot might?
It boggles the mind, indeed.
 
 
 
Marce (マース・・・天使の指切り)yubikiri on May 2nd, 2003 08:51 pm (UTC)
Wow. The creator of this survey needs English lessons. Preferably before they are allowed near a computer again.

I didn't know Sam-chan was so anal!