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17 November 2013 @ 01:43 pm
Should I be so pleased and pampered when I'm not pulling my own weight?  
Lately, Seanie's been feeling down because work is so stressful.  There's an unsettled feeling that pervades his interactions with his teammates because there's been a lot of turmoil and turnover in the last few months.  I think that my absence made every change a little more difficult to absorb and added to his stress, which makes me feel a bit guilty because I was off having fun in a museum instead of standing by my man.  I mean, if it weren't for his steady paycheck I wouldn't have been able to accept the offer from Anasazi, and I'd probably be slaving away at a full-time job doing paperwork or back in retail.

Even now, the fact that I'm not desperately scrambling for a new job, willing to take anything to survive, is all due to Seanie's work ethic and dedication to provide for us.  So  I feel rather guilty that I'm pretty content and happy with life.  I do feel a bit untethered, because I haven't figured out how I'm going to fill my days just yet, but I'm not stressed and I can afford to apply only for museum jobs and/or jobs that I'm genuinely interested in.  Once I build up my fun money fund, I can sign up for some art classes again - I'm very interested in pursuing ceramics, and I've got sidetracked from it twice this year.  I can also start painting again, maybe even bust out the sewing machine...  Work a little at RHA, work a little at home, life is just so pleasant and nice.

I should probably stop being a flighty little housewife and find an income source so that Seanie can have the luxury of leaving his job if he wants.  Not that he has any idea what he wants to do if he were to leave his current position, but it only seems fair that he should have the opportunity I'm having right now.
broken: i <3 jack!!liich on November 25th, 2013 07:52 am (UTC)
it's about supporting your husband....and him supporting you. find the balance between both of your needs and what you both can do for yourself and each other.

if you're not in an out-of-the-house job, or maybe only have a few hours a week, then your job is at home maintaining it (same thing if he was at home and you out working). it may not seem the same as getting out into the workforce and bringing in an income, but it's just as important. once you get a job, then the housework would be balanced between the both of you...but until then, you taking care of the home will relieve that portion of his burden and could help alleviate some stress while he's dealing with stuff at work. it's a different form of support. :)

and don't forget communication (which i don't really think you have a problem with)....ask each other what you both need from the other for support, answer honestly, listen, and do your best to help. he may have been totally okay with you taking that internship, so don't feel guilty....just move forward and find that balance you both need.

^___^ all the best!
Narratoraswirlymatrix on November 26th, 2013 05:05 am (UTC)
Everything he (she?) said.

It is very good of you to feel guilty, though. That shows you care. ;)
broken: i <3 jack!!liich on November 26th, 2013 05:58 am (UTC)
i's be a girl! ^_^
Suzik00kaburra on November 26th, 2013 06:24 am (UTC)
Ha ha, the house maintenance thing does seem to be something I'm needed for! When I got back home, there were four burnt out light bulbs that Seanie hadn't bothered to replace. It was dark as a crypt in here!

Thankfully, he was really excited about the internship. He's incredibly supportive of my continuing school and slowly working toward a museum career - I just feel so badly that he has to work so hard in the meantime.