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11 June 2003 @ 10:25 pm
It's a bitch to be nice, but it's nice to be a bitch.  
Yume: Flowers blooming on a grave; people come and kick them. Petals fly everywhere, making messes in the air and in the pond and in the grass.

Today was much better. I didn't accomplish much, which is bad, because I'm quite behind on many things and really need to catch up. It's gotten to be a permanent thing, this state of catching-up. Some days I would quite like to light a fire to it all and burn it away. Other days I'd just like to drift away on a cloud and let someone else clean up after me.

Tomorrow my portfolio is due in art; it is, at best, half-completed. I'm torn between trying to finish it tonight, pulling an all-nighter, and waking up early tomorrow morning and doing as much as possible before school. In the past I've had little success with either choice. But I can't sleep at all, and I'm a bit scared of the dark tonight. Which I suppose is why I've been playing on Livejournal instead of working...

I've come to associate my name with negative things. Whenever he says it, it is an exasperated exclamation, a suffix to a point that I'm too foolish or too pathetic to comprehend properly. I even cringe when my name passes between those lips because I think I'm being scolded or yelled at. It is not pleasant to hear my name, twisted as it has become, but with no other title I don't know what my identity is in those eyes...perhaps in those eyes, I am unseen and no longer exist outside the physical shell of the stupid girl who can't do anything right.

Does anyone know where I can find the German "Rock Me Amadeus" by Falco? I am dying to find this song...but no luck thus far, save for crappy remixes and an atrocious American version.
Current Mood: stressedstressed
Current Music: "rock me amadeus" by falco, "american version"
mutantstar on June 15th, 2003 07:45 pm (UTC)
I used to play catch-up too. Except that now life is in a permanent state of stagnation.

I'm not sure which I prefer.
A Chimp In Your Kumquat Tree: Thoughtlaotahn on June 19th, 2003 06:05 pm (UTC)
It's Nice To Be Important, but it's important to be nice"
Big Brother found it!

Kookaburra Kookaburra sits on the old gum tree
Merry merry king of the bush is he
Laugh Kookaburra, laugh Kookaburra
Gay your life must be

Kookaburra sits on the old gum tree
Eating all the gumdrops he can see
Stop Kookaburra, stop Kookaburra
Leave some gums for me

Kookaburra sits on the old gum tree
Counting all the monkeys he can see
Stop Kookaburra, stop Kookaburra
That's no monkey, that's ME!!!