Suzi (k00kaburra) wrote,

  • Mood:

Equal Opportunity Racism

I love my English class. Everyone in there is unique and wonderful. And racist as heck.

There's this Palestinian boy. He has the same name as a Presidential candidate. We'll call him Hagelin to protect his identity. Not a day goes by when someone in the class mentioning the fact that his people "throw rocks." It's this pathetic cycle. For example,

Teacher: "And in WWII, the invention of the A-bomb led to the destruction of Hiroshima in Japan."
Apu: "I bet the Palestinians wish they had one of those babies, no?"
Hagelin: "Yeah, but we'll always have the rocks."
Petruchio: "YEAH - ROCKS!"

Petruchio's one of the worst. He's a little Italian boy who never quite got over the fact that he's a skinny litle wimp. He's the class clown, a screwball who occassionally will say something truly profound. But not often.

He and Spaay have this constant battle going. Spaay, bless his whitewashed little heart, is what you call a banana Asian. Yellow on the outside, but all white within. He likes to wear bright shirts of yellow or orange. Anyway, he and Petruchio are constantly at it.

Petruchio (continuing,): "Of course, the Asians would throw POTSTICKERS!"
Spaay: "What would you throw, sausages??"
Petruchio: "Well, my sausage is bigger than your sausage!"
Spaay:"Asians don't have sausages, we have eggrolls!"
Spaay: "Be careful, you're stepping into the International Waters!"

You see, Spaay and Jim sit in a corner of their room. This is the Asian corner, as both boys are Korean. If you go into the surrouding area, unless you are Asian as well then you are trespassing into the International Waters.

Spaay:"The Asians are smarter! We have Cathy and Ail and Samantha and Apu and Jim!"
Me: And Ran.
Spaay: Ran's black.
Me: Ran's Indian, you baka!
Spaay: Don't go using your Spanish on me!
Me: ... You also forgot Marisa.
Spaay: Marisa's Filipino, she don't count.
Marisa: EXCUSE ME????
All: ...yesma'am...
Teacher: I swear, you kids...this room is just equal opportunity racism all around.

We're honored to be so cultured.
Tags: branham

  • Jeans and I are so good at adulting.

    Sometimes Amazon throws up a really good deal on Prime and we have poor impulse control because it's one-click-buy and then this is a thing…

  • A quiet couple of days at Mom's

    My parents are getting their house re-roofed, so I've been hanging out at their house during the day. Mom's at work, Dad's been out of town hiking,…

  • Sartorial Choices For Sports Fans

    I'm at work, setting up the morning coffee station when a resident walks up to hover while he waits for me to finish brewing the coffee.…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.