?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
04 December 2000 @ 10:23 pm
Equal Opportunity Racism  
I love my English class. Everyone in there is unique and wonderful. And racist as heck.

There's this Palestinian boy. He has the same name as a Presidential candidate. We'll call him Hagelin to protect his identity. Not a day goes by when someone in the class mentioning the fact that his people "throw rocks." It's this pathetic cycle. For example,

Teacher: "And in WWII, the invention of the A-bomb led to the destruction of Hiroshima in Japan."
Apu: "I bet the Palestinians wish they had one of those babies, no?"
Hagelin: "Yeah, but we'll always have the rocks."
Petruchio: "YEAH - ROCKS!"

Petruchio's one of the worst. He's a little Italian boy who never quite got over the fact that he's a skinny litle wimp. He's the class clown, a screwball who occassionally will say something truly profound. But not often.

He and Spaay have this constant battle going. Spaay, bless his whitewashed little heart, is what you call a banana Asian. Yellow on the outside, but all white within. He likes to wear bright shirts of yellow or orange. Anyway, he and Petruchio are constantly at it.

Petruchio (continuing,): "Of course, the Asians would throw POTSTICKERS!"
Spaay: "What would you throw, sausages??"
Petruchio: "Well, my sausage is bigger than your sausage!"
Spaay:"Asians don't have sausages, we have eggrolls!"
Petruchio: "MY SAUSAGE IS BIGGER THAN YOUR EGGROLL!"
Spaay: "Be careful, you're stepping into the International Waters!"

You see, Spaay and Jim sit in a corner of their room. This is the Asian corner, as both boys are Korean. If you go into the surrouding area, unless you are Asian as well then you are trespassing into the International Waters.

Spaay:"The Asians are smarter! We have Cathy and Ail and Samantha and Apu and Jim!"
Me: And Ran.
Spaay: Ran's black.
Me: Ran's Indian, you baka!
Spaay: Don't go using your Spanish on me!
Me: ... You also forgot Marisa.
Spaay: Marisa's Filipino, she don't count.
Marisa: EXCUSE ME????
Teacher: SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!
All: ...yesma'am...
Teacher: I swear, you kids...this room is just equal opportunity racism all around.

We're honored to be so cultured.
Tags:
 
 
Current Mood: chipperchipper