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26 April 2003 @ 07:09 pm
Sie sind zynisch und schön.  
Yume: I'm shopping for bras, because everyone knows that you have to wear those if you're a girl. But nothing's small enough, so I'm standing around with these idiot flimsy pieces of cloth falling right off whenever I try to wear them.
Y'know, that might not have been a dream. I bet that'd happen in real life. ^_~

Davy and I talked for a long time. I copied our conversation down, most of it; I missed bits because it's hard to write as fast as someone talks. But here it is, preserved for you. :p (Side note: He's been calling me Shania for the past month or so. He said that no matter what my future career will be, I'll be a sell-out like she is, but everyone will love me despite it.)
D: So I read his diary.
S: Hello to you too!
D: Howdy Shania! How are you? Good? I'm glad...
D: So I read his diary.
S: And?
D: I don't like him.
S: I didn't think you would.
D: More importantly, I don't like you with him.
D: He's very wrong. He shouldn't be allowed to date.
S: You are so mean sometimes, precious!
D: It'sssssss fun to be mean to nassssssssssty little boysssssss. :-p Nassssssssty little crosssssdressssser, feeling up my precioussssssss....
D: You shouldn't go out with this one.
S: ^^; You're just jealous, precious.
D: Naturally! But look at this. He's drooling over this other girl Audrey constantly. Doesn't that bother you?
S: It's his ex. He loves her and she loves him, but she loved someone else and he couldn't handle it so they took away the boyfriend/girlfriend title. I think. Yanno, I never quite got that.
D: You shouldn't get into serious relationships when you're in love with someone else. It's unfair to your partner.
S: I'm sure it isn't _that_ bad.
D: Based on what you've written and said, precious, and what he's written, you're just a rebound girl. You don't need to be in such a pathetic position.
S: ....
D: It's obvious!.
D: Just look! The reason he moves your relationship so quickly is that he wants to get back to the feelings he had with this other girl. I mean, he was obsessed with her. It's disgusting to read about it. He wants you to replace her, Shania!
S: *shrug* We're not young anymore. We can't get untainted goods.
S: At this point, anyone you meet has been in love before.
D: You know what I love?
S: What do you love?
D: I love this. He mentions he has a date with you in this entry, in January. So he's already with you. Then in April he just gushes about her.
D: No, I'm sorry, with Her.
D: Her capitalized!
D: Because she's a bloody goddess on a pedestal!
S: Calm down. ^^;
D: You said he's invoked love, right?
S: He took it back. ^^; We're back to like again.
D: Even so. It's a mockery of the word! If he loves Her, which he says multiple times here, he can't love you darling, it doesn't work that way.
S: Well, 'snot like I can do anything about it.
D: Break up with him. He doesn't deserve you.
S: ...
D: Look at this. He's suicidal, whiny, and an insult to your good taste.
D: The other day when we spoke, I asked you what his good qualities are. YOU COULDN'T THINK OF ANY!
S: ...
D: He does nothing for you, precious!
S: ..if I were to break up with him, it'd be a very long time before another guy would appear. I should take advantage of this opportunity to learn about relationships.
D: ...
D: Just promise me...
S: yes?
D: Make him hurt. Promise me you'll hurt him so badly he'll never forget you.
S: OK promise! ^_^
S: Happy now? Is it not terrible that cruelty that dwells within these tangled curls?

I embrace my womanhood and I embrace the excuse of "I'm PMSing. I can be as mean as I want and you can't do shit about it. MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

Today was relaxing. I'm heading over to Tanya's tonight to pick up some beads. Turquoise or coral? I can't decide. I wanted some bone, but those are expensive as heck, so I'll have to do without. I'm hoping she has some little silver ones, but since I didn't ask I can't know for sure. If I get really creative, tomorrow night I'll cut up a soda can so I can make some aluminum charms
 
 
Current Mood: bitchybitchy
Current Music: "bitch" by meredith brooks
 
 
 
(Anonymous) on May 4th, 2003 10:28 am (UTC)
I....see? -C -Sea....:p
Okay...so I'll start from here, 'cause I gotta defend myself.

There are multiple kinds of love. I've long since lost any sense of Romantic love for Audrey.
The 'Her' was because I'm trying to get out of practice of mentioning real names. I'm not very imaginative at 1 or 2 AM, when I'm usually writing, either. :p
Whiny. Yea. I use diary to vent. Venting can be whiny, and often is. :p
I did once place her on a pedestal, you know. It stopped right quickly. It kinda happens when you find 0ut that the pedestal's made of tissue paper.
I'd be the first to admit that I was and am on a bit of rebound, but who wouldn't be after a 2-year relationship? Rebound's lessened to almost nothing, and I plan on keeping it that way.

A replacement...no. That's exactly the last thing I want. In all seriousness, if I'd even had the hint of a 'replacement,' and even if I do now... I think I'd be having to break up for my own piece of mind.

The crossdressing is SO all you! ^^" I'm never so inclined to do it, except for the fact that it does make you happy, seemingly.

Urg.

That's all he wrote.

-C